My Best Friend
by tarin2014tfan
Summary: Raph reflects on his brother on his birthday.


**My Best Friend**

**Disclaimer** \- I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.  
**Rating** \- Mature audiences. (Don't like. Do not read.)  
**Story Warnings** \- Swearing, Emotional distress, Mentions of Tcest, Mentions of suicide, Mentions of sexual deviancy, Fluff (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
**Pairings** \- Raph x Leo, Donnie x Mikey (Don't like? Do not read.)  
**Universe **\- 2003  
**Ages** \- All turtles are the age of 21.

**Summary** \- Raph reflects on his brother on his birthday.

**My Best Friend**

Raph hated cooking.

It wasn't that he sucked at it, not at all. He really wasn't half bad to be honest.

His vegetables were always crisp, meats always tender, pasta never mushy. Everything he cooked was always bursting with flavor, and surprising enough, appealing to the eye.

He wasn't as good as Mikey by any means, but he could hold his own.

No, Raph hated cooking because there were so many things he had to be careful about when he did.

Never let this come in contact with that. Wash everything. And Heaven forbid if the cutting board didn't get sanitized within an inch of it's life after every use.

Truthfully, he was too much of a straightforward, point A to point B kind of guy to want to deal with all that scrub, wash, rinse, repeat crap.

Still, even though he was just a tad bit on the impatient side, Raph always followed the safety precautions whenever he cooked. There were enough things out there trying to do him and his brothers in they sure as shell didn't need to be knocked low by a salmonella contaminated salad.

So, even though he was killer in the kitchen, Raph tended to avoid cooking like the plague. Except for a few select days of the year.

And today was one of those days.

It was Tuesday.

Not just any Tuesday either, the third Tuesday of June.

The day Leo chose as his birthday eighteen years ago.

Raph remembered it well.

They were three.

Splinter had found a small, but working television set on a random fire escape while out scavenging one night, and had brought it home in hopes of using it to distract his young charges well enough for him to go out on longer scavenging trips.

An hour was simply not enough time any more to find adequate food for his growing sons' growing appetites.

Much to Splinter's delight, his plan worked.

A bit too well.

With a television to now keep his sons occupied, Splinter could easily be gone for two hours, or more without the tots realizing their father had even left. And a few times, the nights a holiday special was airing, Splinter felt certain he could be out well past dawn the boys were so engrossed in what they were watching.

But as upsetting as it was to Splinter for his sons to be so utterly obsessed with that electronic box, the endless stream of questions generated by the television was more so.

Why are we green? What's fried chicken taste like? Will we need bras when we grow up? What's an Easter bunny? Why do we live underground? Why do people have toenails? Do you speak whale? What do you do in a school? What's a birthday for? And on, and on, and on.

Splinter answered the seemingly endless barrage as best he could.

Sometimes his answers were lacking, and the rat daddy had to lay down the law for safety's sake.

Other times, Splinter was able to use his sons' questions to give the tots a new experience; like bringing home fried chicken for dinner, and surprising them with slightly broken chocolate rabbits.

Or giving them a birthday.

Armed with a dog-eared dictionary, and an outdated calendar he had scavenged to use as fire starter, Splinter sat down with his sons, explained what a birthday was, and helped them each pick a day to call their very own.

Mikey picked the last day of the following month. He wanted his birthday as soon as possible.

Donnie picked a day almost a full year away. He wanted time to research birthdays so he would be adequately prepared.

Raph had picked a day in the hottest month of the year just because he could.

Then it was Leo's turn.

Leo went last, not wanting any of his brothers to have to wait because of him. He also took the longest to pick his day.

Finally, the leaf green tot picked a day as far from his brothers' birthdays as possible. When asked why, little Leo said he didn't want to take any of the specialness away from his brothers' birthdays by having his too close.

For a long time, Raph thought it was really the other way around; Leo didn't want his brothers' birthdays taking anything away from his.

As they grew older, Raph came to realize he couldn't have been more wrong if he'd tried.

He also came to learn hat wasn't the only thing he had misjudged his older brother on either. Leo really did selflessly put his brothers first in all things.

Those epiphanies left the red banded turtle with a load of guilt Raph still felt to this day. He worked diligently at forgiving himself for being such an ass. It really wasn't doing anyone, least of all himself, any good hanging onto that emotional baggage.

He also worked at making it up to Leo.

Leo, being Leo, had insisted there was nothing between them Raph needed to atone for, but Raph, being Raph, felt differently, and did so anyway.

So here he was in the kitchen at the butt crack of dawn cooking breakfast for his older brother instead of snuggled up in his nice warm bed sleeping.

Well that, and he got a wicked sense of satisfaction doing little things for his brother for no other reason than to keep the blue banded turtle just a bit off kilter.

With undeniable finesse and expertise, Raph removed his masterpiece from the skillet, placing it on the two plates sitting on the counter. He then turned off the eye on the stove, took a step back, and checked to see if everything was good to go.

"French toast times four, Eggs Benedict times two, extra ham, juice, fruit..."

The kettle started to whistle bringing a rare, genuine smile to Raph's face.

"And tea."

He carefully filled Leo's favorite teapot before placing it along with two teacups on the tray with the breakfast plates.

"Leo, all I got ta say is, ya better be hungry," Raph grinned, grasping the tray and turning to leave the kitchen.

He immediately pulled up short when he found his way blocked by his immediate younger brother standing in the doorway.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Donnie asked, pointing behind his brother into the kitchen.

"Uh, no?" Raph looked over his shoulder, and groaned.

There were dirty pans on the stove with crud encrusted spatulas hanging out of them. Dishes were stacked in the sink to the point they teetered dangerously towards the edge. Cartons with their spouts wide open sat clustered together on the counter waiting patiently to go back in the refrigerator.

If Raph took the time to clean up, Leo's birthday breakfast would be reduced to nothing more than a cold, half congealed pile of unappetizing yuck even a stray dog would refuse to eat.

"Don't sweat it," the olive genius chuckled, clapping his emerald brother on the shoulder as he edged past heading for the coffee pot. "I'll get it."

Raph's relief was palpable.

"But," Donnie spun on his heel, pinning his brother with a steely glare. "You better make sure Leo's here, and on time for Mikey's dinner tonight. Because if you don't," Donnie took a threatening step forward, finger raised and pointing right at his brother's beak. "You'll not only owe me for this," his hand shot around indicating the sizable mess behind him. "But Mikey's dinner, AND for what happened on my birthday last year."

Amber eyes widened in horror.

"You thought I'd forgotten," Donnie smirked. "Didn't you?"

Well, he had hoped.

"He'll be here," Raph mumbled, inching a foot towards the door. "And on time."

Donnie had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud as he watched his emerald brother execute some pretty fancy footwork to avoid running face first into the door facing as the brawler fled the room.

He was still chuckling when Mikey came wandering into the kitchen a few minutes later wearing a highly confused look on his face.

"Everything alright?" Donnie asked, taking his first blissful sip of coffee.

"I'm not sure," Mikey frowned, looking at his brother as if Donnie had suddenly become some kind of all consuming riddle. "What'd you do to Raph this morning?"

"What makes you think I did anything to Raph this morning?"

"Well, he said something when I passed him on the stairs just now that made me think maybe something happened between you two." Mikey shrugged self consciously, but said nothing more.

"I see," Donnie took another sip of coffee. "What exactly did he say?"

"He said I better be careful around you today, or I else might just wake up in the morning and find my penis covered in purple latex."

Donnie was very glad he had swallowed his mouthful of coffee before Mikey answered.

"As fun as that might be," Donnie sputtered out laughing. "I would never do anything like that without first getting your consent."

The purple banded genius tossed a dry cloth to his brother before filling the less dish filled sink with hot water. "Let's clean up Raph's mess, and then get some breakfast for ourselves. While we're eating, I promise to explain where that came from. But," Donnie shot a generous amount of soap into the sink before looking up at his brother. "I hope you have something special planned for dinner tonight, because if not, I just might end up being the one covered in latex come morning."

* * *

By the time he made it up to Leo's bedroom, Raph had forgotten all about Donnie's threat. He was too busy imagining Leo's potential reaction to having breakfast brought to him in bed.

Leo had never been served breakfast in bed before. Dinner, yes; three years ago when super ninja had broken his toe walking across April's living room floor, but never breakfast. His reaction had been less than enthusiastic.

Who knew Leo could out pout Michelangelo?

Raph expected something equally as un-Leo-esque this time too. Stuttering surprise maybe? An annoyed lecture about startling sleeping ninjas awake? Mute disbelief that his temperamental brother had gotten out of bed hours before he had to, and cooked?

If he was a betting turtle, Raph would put his money on the last one.

Whatever Leo's reaction, it was surely going to be photo worthy!

Raph could hardly wait!

But first he had to get the damned door open.

Balancing on one foot, and reaching out with the other, Raph grasped the doorknob between his toes. A slight twist of the ankle, a gentle flex of the ball of his foot, and ta-da!

"Bein' a ninja comes in all kinds a handy," the emerald turtle smirked, shell bumping the door open wide enough to slip through.

Half a step in, Raph leaned over, reaching out with his elbow to turn on the lights. He paused right before flipping the switch, getting his angle just right to fully see Leo's face when the sword master was so rudely awakened.

Raph froze, hardly daring to breath.

Leo lay on his bed sound asleep, light from the hallway casting a shimmering halo around the leaf green turtle's face.

It was one of the most beautiful sights Raph had ever seen.

Forgetting about turning on the light, the emerald ninja crossed the room. He set Leo's breakfast on the nightstand without a sound, then knelt down beside the bed. A smile slowly spread across his face.

When had Leo become so beautiful?

Maybe a better question would be why had he never noticed until now?

Raph drew a deep, silent breath.

He knew that answer. He had been too wrapped up in being an ass.

Raph's head tilted to the side as the emerald turtle studied ever inch of Leo's exposed skin.

Then again, maybe he hadn't noticed because there wasn't anything special to see.

Leo's coloring wasn't all that unique, for a turtle, the color of leaves in early summer. His shell was the same as the rest of them, about ten different shades of brown. He had some blemishes, leftovers from childhood; there were a few texture imperfections, and even Donnie would be hard pressed to say which of them had more scars.

No, it wasn't Leo's appearance, Raph decided leaning in closer to his sleeping brother, that made him beautiful. It was what was on the inside.

Mikey often said Leo had a superhero's personality. Raph had to agree.

Their big brother was loyal, determined, honest to a fault. Shell, Leo wouldn't even think of telling a lie! He was helpful, caring, kind, the list went on, and on.

Raph's smile grew.

But Leo sure as shell wasn't no saint. He had a temper to rival Raph's own. He'd even been known to get distracted at the worst possible time, and he tended to be lazy, especially when it came to getting up earlier than usual, or cleaning the bathroom.

Leo was beautiful because he was Raph's brother, plain and simple.

No, that wasn't it either, not really. Raph didn't feel that way about Don and Mike.

Raph bit back a chuckle, not wanting to wake Leo. He could just imaging his two younger brothers' reactions if he was to walk up to them and call them beautiful.

He have to remember to tell Leo that later. Maybe during a spar. See if big brother's concentration was as good as he thought it was.

Leo was more than just a brother. He was more than a lover.

He was Raph's best friend.

For the longest time Casey had held that honor, years in fact, but Leo connected with Raph on levels Casey could never reach.

Casey would never know what it was like to be an outcast to society simply for the way you looked. He would never know what it was like to be cold, and starving because of how you were forced to live. And Casey chose to put his life in danger hunting down the criminal lowlifes in this city; he could just as easily choose to walk away, and leave it all behind.

Raph couldn't.

Leo got that. Because Leo had lived every second of Raph's life right beside him.

How many times had they both shivered together underneath a ragged, threadbare blanket with growling bellies because they gave their little brothers their food, and the warm blankets? How many times had they stood together against their enemies, facing impossible odds, to give their little brothers time to get to safety?

How many times had they cried on each other's shoulder because the hardships of the life they were forced to live had become too much to handle on their own?

For nineteen years Raph had felt so alone. Then finally, he had had enough. He was so tired, tired of hurting, tired of searching for something out there in the world that just didn't exist for him.

He was done.

He remembered standing atop the tallest building he could find, a bitter wind whipping his mask tails, and chilling his skin. He felt so free up there, so unfettered, almost as if he could fly.

Then there was his brother from out of nowhere.

"Go home, Leo. Ya can't stop me," he had growled.

"Then I won't try."

Leo's voice had been so calm, so soothing to Raph's tormented spirit.

"But I'll not let you go alone either, Raph."

That had been the emerald turtle's undoing. No matter what, Leo would never abandon him.

That was the only time in his life Raph had ever collapsed. He had crumpled to the ground, and cried for who knows how long while being held in his brother's strong arms. He had babbled and blubbered who knows what, not giving a damn about the mess he was making of himself or his brother.

Leo had just held on. Produced a hankerchief when Raph needed one, a fresh mask when Raph wanted one, and soothing words the whole time in between.

When they finally made it back into those hated, filthy ass, damned life saving sewers, Raph had stopped, too afraid to go on. Too scared to face his brothers, and his father.

Again, there was Leo.

Big brother had taken his hand, given him one of those rare I-got-this smiles, and made everything better.

"It's okay, Raph. They think you just went out to knock some heads together, and I went out to get you because of the storm. They'll never know otherwise, unless you decide to tell them."

Raph was... Stunned didn't even begin to describe it.

Leo had saved his reputation, his pride, and his life by simply being who he was.

"I got you, little brother."

Those three little words meant so much more than one could imagine when they came from Leo.

And Leo had never let go.

Leo had stood by him when no one else would, listened to him no matter how outrageous Raph sounded, fought with him when Raph was too self absorbed to realize he was being an ass, and through it all, had loved him.

Surprisingly enough, Raph didn't jump when Leo brushed his cheek with his hand.

"Good morning," the sleepy turtle muttered, his voice soft. "You're up early."

"Mornin' beautiful," Raph took Leo's hand in his, lightly kissing his palm. "I thought ya might like some breakfast."

Leo glanced up at the tray sitting beside his bed. "Thank you, Raph. You really shouldn't have."

Raph shrugged. "It's yer birthday." Which said it all.

Leo slipped his hand around the back of his brother's neck, coaxing Raph forward with gentle pressure. "Will it keep a little while?"

"If it don't, I can make it 'gain," Raph muttered, leaning in to press their lips together.

Neither one saw the olive toned hand that came through the open door holding a small remote with a single button. Nor did they notice the sea green hand that pulled the door closed when the olive hand retreated.

"Feel like waffles and Eggs Benedict for breakfast, Don?" Mikey asked, following his brother downstairs.

"If you want to make that for breakfast, sure. But the warming feature I built into that tray should keep their breakfast palatable until they're ready to eat it."

Mikey decided to fix it anyway, just in case the two oldest wanted a little extra.

"Hey, Donnie?"

Something in Mikey's voice made the genius stop, and turn. "Hmm?"

"Leo really is good for Raph, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. Just like you're good for me." Donnie basked in the beaming smile that came from his brother. "And Raph is equally good for Leo."

"Kinda like you and me too, huh?"

"Yes."

This time Donnie was stopped by Mikey pulling him into a tight, heartfelt hug.

"I know today is Leo's birthday, but I just felt like I should..."

"I know, Mikey," Donnie interrupted, returning his brother's hug. "I know, I feel the exact same way."

* * *

As the two youngest headed into the kitchen, Splinter silently slipped back inside his room. He felt it best to give his sons some time before making his presence known.

For whatever reason, Splinter opened the chest he kept at the foot of his bed. The chest that held little things the old rat felt important from his sons' childhood.

Inside he removed an old, very out of date calendar with torn edges so faded it was almost impossible to read.

It now consisted of only four months.

Each month had one day circled in a specific color, red, blue, purple, and orange.

He slowly turned each page, letting his mind slip back through the years.

A soft sniffle broke the quiet of Splinter's room as he pressed the battered pages to his chest.

"If I have done nothing else good in this life," he whispered, blinking at the moisture building in his eyes. "I have raised four remarkable sons."

* * *

Thanks for reading.


End file.
